Darkest Desires
by Ozymandeos
Summary: I never expected any of this to happen. I didn't ask for it either. Didn't ask to be born with odd powers, didn't ask to survive IAAN, didn't ask to be what I am. But this happened anyway... so I must do my best to survive in the changed and still changing world. At least I have friends to rely on.
1. Chapter One

I groaned as the sunlight coming in through my window brought me out of sleep. I rolled over and tried to drift back to the soft, fluffy dream I had been in. It took a few minutes for me to realize that it was useless. I flopped over, knocking one of my teddy bears off the bed in the process, and threw off my fluffy pink covers. I blinked a couple of times from the sunlight in my eyes and then reached up to rub the sleep from them.

When I sat up and turned away from the window I saw that the unicorn poster I had hanging on the wall was drooping again. An entire corner had pulled free from the tape, and the head was missing underneath it. My feet went into the fuzzy pink slippers as I looked around to make sure my door was still shut. I was short, even for an eleven year old, just a little over four feet tall, so the poster was too far up the wall for me to reach the sagging corner… but that wasn't a problem.

I'd never really been a normal little girl… my eyes had always marked me out as different. They were bright purple, and at times people said they seemed to glow. As far back as I could remember I'd had odd things happen around me… occasionally things would move on their own when I was mad, or I'd touch someone and hear what they were thinking. I'd always kept these odd things to myself… but they'd only gotten worse since I turned ten and caught IAAN.

I'd only been six when it really started to hit America, and as I'd heard Daddy say when he didn't know I was listening 'Everything went to hell'. I'd grown up, as had most of the other children I knew but wasn't really friends with, hearing how bad things really were without our parents ever telling us. A few kids that were left started dying from it as they hit eight, and nine. But the main wave started hitting when the kids turned ten… by then I'd already learned what death was but it still had hurt to see so many classmates die. There were only two of us left by the time I got to fifth grade, and a few months ago he had disappeared.

Ever since I recovered from the disease that had killed so many others I'd had much more power than before… I could move things at will, and look into someone's thoughts just by being near them and focusing. But I still kept the powers hidden… I'd heard about the camps they sent people that survived the disease to, and I didn't want to leave my parents.

I focused on the sagging corner of the poster and it slowly curled back against the wall, and stayed there. I wobbled a little on my feet and nearly fell back onto my soft bed. A headache was starting behind my eyes… trying to use these odd powers almost always gave me one… but I couldn't help using them sometimes. I'd have to ask daddy for some medicine.

My stomach rumbled and reminded me that I'd slept in. It was Saturday, and we always had waffles. I could already smell them cooking… my mouth watered at the thought of all that buttery syrup. I hoped they were chocolate chip this time!

Daddy was sitting at the table reading a newspaper, like always, when I got downstairs. I got a small glimpse of the headline before he sat it down and walked over to me with a smile. The cover went _"First ever breakout from Rehabilitation camp. Fact or Fiction?"_

"So, how's my little princess doing today?" Daddy picked me up and spun me around as I giggled.

"I'm hungry!"

He set me down and took a step back, frowning a little. "Mommy will be out in a minute with the waffles. But you're looking a little pale… are you feeling alright sweetie?"

"I'm fine; it's just a little headache."

"Mhmm… let me get you some Tylenol anyway. Don't jump up in your chair this time." He turned and started walking to the medicine cabinet in his and Mommy's bathroom. I just nodded and went 'Mhmm', not intending to really listen. I loved jumping up into the chair, even though Mommy and Daddy hated when I did it. I still had a knot on my head from the last time I jumped up and the chair fell backwards, but it was worth it.

I got a running start and jumped up onto the chair. I shrieked as the slippers on my feet slid across the polished wood and over onto the other side, instead of sticking like I'd meant to. My butt bounced off the edge as I slid across the entire chair, and then my head banged on the edge of it. My vision went blurry as my eyes flooded with tears and I started sobbing from the pain.

My ears were ringing as I threw out my arms to try to catch myself before I hit the ground, and I heard something crash. My headache only got worse with the crashing sound… and then I hit the ground.

The back of my head was throbbing with pain as I sobbed, and I felt something warm and sticky when I reached back. After what felt like hours, but was probably just a few seconds, I felt someone pick me up and sit my head in their lap. I blinked away some of the tears that were starting to flow down my cheeks and looked up to see Daddy's face as he cradled me. He was practically shouting something, but the ringing in my ears was too loud to hear it. All I knew was that his eyes were more worried than I'd ever seen them before, not even when I broke my arm when I was four.

When he brushed a few strands of my red hair away from my face, a small spark went through my head and all I could see was white. For a second I thought I'd gone blind… but then I'd realized that I'd lost control over what I could do… I was seeing Daddy's mind. I saw in his thoughts that he was worried… that it looked like I was dead with blood pooling on the ground under my head. But below that was a dangerous worried undertone… and that scared me more than anything.

He'd turned as I fell, and seen a picture fly across the room when I tried to stop my fall. Without me touching it. I could see how much he loved me, but I could feel something that made me afraid down there. He intended to give me to the PSF… and I'd heard horrible rumors about the Camps over the internet and other sources... I couldn't believe that Daddy would do that to me.

It took conscious effort, but I finally managed to get out of his mind and back into my own. The pain came rushing back, and so did my hearing.

"Princess? Please, wake up!" Daddy was crying now too, and I smiled a little at him, through the pain, as a tear landed on my cheek.

"M… my head hurts Daddy." I squeezed out through a throat constricted by pain.

"Shhh, it's alright sweetie. Mommy's already called the hospital, the ambulance will be here soon. You'll be just fine." Daddy smiled down at me as he said it, but I was still touching him and I could hear his thoughts still. It wasn't the hospital they'd called… it was the PSF.

"Noooo!" I forgot about the pain as I threw my arms around Daddy's neck, and buried my face into his shoulder. I screamed and sobbed as he tried to comfort me. "Don't send me away Daddy! I love you, I promise this won't happen again. I'll be good, and do whatever you and Mommy say, just don't let them take me away!"

Daddy tensed underneath me for a second, and his breath caught in his throat as I spoke. His mind clouded over for a second, though I didn't know or care why, and when it cleared he'd forgotten all about sending me to the PSF.

"Why would we send you away Princess? You're our daughter, and we love you. No matter what you are, or what you can do." My sobs slowed down as he rubbed at my back and comforted me. "Now let's see your head. I need to know how bad it is."

I turned around and a few strands of my red hair fall in front of my eyes. I winced and tried not to scream as he pulled on my scalp and yanked my hair away from whatever it was stuck to. After a few seconds it seemed that he was satisfied with his search.

"I know it hurts honey, but just be strong. The cut's not that bad, it won't even need stitches. Some antiseptic and a Band-Aid are all you need." Daddy murmured to me once he finished looking. "Stay here for a second." Then he got up and ran over to his bathroom.

My head was throbbing, but I was just so happy that Daddy wouldn't send me away. I sat there patiently on the floor as I waited for him to come back, humming a tune from my favorite commercial. Daddy finally came back, his hands full with medicine, and told me to stay still.

"This will sting, but it's good for you. I promise." Daddy had me hold my hair up and away from the cut back there. He'd done this before when I got cut, and would undoubtedly do it again. I was never really a peaceful child, always running around and active. A lot of times this led to me falling and getting hurt. But I trusted Daddy to take care of me when I did, he was a doctor. Helping people was his job.

He dabbed some stinging substance on the back of my head, and I grit my teeth against the pain from it. Once the stinging stopped, he wiped at the cut with a cool, wet cloth. Then I felt him quickly stick on a bandage.

"All done honey. Now you stay here, and be careful this time. I'll go see if Mommy has the waffles done yet." I let my hair fall back over the covered cut, and then giggle a little as Daddy lifted me up and sat me gently in the chair. "Here, take these while I'm gone. They'll help with your headache and the pain." He gave me two small pills and then walked over into the kitchen.

I held the pills in one hand, and picked up my glass of water from the table with the other. I swallowed them with a quick gulp. I sat there humming and swinging my legs back and forth as I waited for Daddy to come back. My stomach growled again as I waited, wondering what was taking so long.

Just as I was about to get up and go in there to see, the yelling started. I couldn't quite hear the words… but the raised voices and angry tones were enough to tell me that Mommy and Daddy were fighting again. My tears, which had only recently stopped, started up again. I hated it when they fought, it always made me cry like this. Especially when it was me they fought about… they always tried to keep the arguments hidden from me, but I could usually hear them and tell when they were about me, even without using my odd powers.

I was sipping from my glass when the kitchen door slammed open against the wall and knocked down another picture on the wall. Daddy stormed out with his face set in a mask of anger, and Mommy called him something I would be spanked for saying. He stomped over to me, the table shaking a little with each heavy footfall. He jerked me up out of the chair and into his arms, and I dropped my glass. It fell onto the floor and shattered into sparkling shards, which crunched under Daddy's shoes as he carried me toward the door.

"Da… Daddy? What's going on?" I looked up into his eyes and what I saw scared me. I kept myself out of his mind, but just from his eyes I could see he was angry and scared.

"Shhh, it's alright Sweetie. We're just going for a drive." He murmured to me reassuringly, and I relaxed in his arms.

"But I'm still in my pajamas!"

"No time… no time… you'll be fine, we're not going in anywhere." He muttered the first part to himself, but I heard it anyway. Why was Daddy so scared and in such a hurry?

"I'm still hungry though!" I complained as Daddy carried me out the door into the cool air outside. One of my slippers fell off, but Daddy wouldn't put me down so I could get it. He violently threw open his car's door, and sat me in the passenger seat.

"There's a candy bar in the glove compartment." My eyes lit up with excitement. I never got to have candy for breakfast! I didn't care why Daddy was acting all strange… I got candy! I opened the thingy on the dashboard and grabbed the candy bar that was sitting on a stack of dusty manuals. I ripped it open and started chewing it, savoring the chocolate, as Daddy started the car and backed out of the driveway.

We were just pulling out of the half-abandoned city that we lived in when the black cars pulled up behind us and the sirens started.


	2. Chapter Two

"Shit…" Daddy cursed to himself as he sped up. Why was he trying to outrun the vans following us? The sirens were hurting my ears… could they really be after us? Or rather after me?

Maybe it was the PSF… but I know Daddy didn't call them. That meant that Mommy must have done it… but why? She loves me just as much as Daddy, doesn't she?

My candy bar was already gone, but I was still hungry. I didn't complain though; Daddy seemed to have enough on his mind already. At least the medicine that he'd given me was working, and my headache was gone. It still stung when I leaned the back of my head against the seat, but I was fine as long as I kept it away from there.

"This is the PSF, pull over!" The voice delivering these words was loud, and distorted. My stomach fluttered with fear as I realized that it was really them. Daddy must really love me if he was going to risk the punishment for hiding a child like me… especially when there was already a PSF patrol after me.

"Daddy, are you trying to outrun them?" I had an idea… but it was reckless. Meaning it was normal for me.

"Yes princess, I'm going to try. I won't let them take you away… just stay buckled up. This is going to get bumpy." He hissed out through gritted teeth as he swerved around oncoming traffic and onto a bumpy side road.

"But you know what the punishment for hiding someone like me is!" I was about to cry again, but I sniffled and held in the tears. "I don't want you to die for me Daddy. I'll turn myself in for you, I love you too much to let you get hurt."

"There there sweetie, we'll both be okay. It's too late for that to work anyway, after this chase I'd be executed anyway. I used to race back before Medschool, I should be able to outrun them." Daddy seemed tense… it was time to bring up my idea.

"I… I might be able to help. I've never really tried anything this big before, and I'm not sure exactly what I can do anyway, but I might be able to slow them down."

"It might be dangerous though, they have guns back there you know. I don't want you to do it when you can get hurt."

"But Daddy, they'll get us both if I don't try something. It might give me a headache, but that's worth it if we can get away. Please?" I begged him, the tears gone from my eyes.

"This is a rash and dangerous idea… come to think of it it's just the kind of idea I expect from you. Do it if you must… just please, don't hurt yourself. I can't live without you, princess." He turned and gave me a small smile as we kept driving. The car hit a huge pothole just as I unbuckled my seatbelt, and my head banged against the ceiling. I bit back a grunt of pain and rolled down my window as I spun around to look back at the three vans following us.

"This is your last warning, pull over, or we'll shoot." The same amplified voice from earlier called out, coming from a man with a megaphone leaning out the passenger side of the leading van. There was another noise under the sirens that I could hear now that the window was down. To be exact, it was a low throbbing that I didn't recognize. I leaned out the window and saw the source of the new noise, a sleek black helicopter flying along above us.

I ignored it for now; turning back to the vans as a man leaned out one of their window's and aimed something at us. I focused as best I could, and a flare of pain went through my head as the gun flew out of the man's hand. I turned my attention to the lead van, and as I tightened my grip on the car door I focused my mind on the windshield. The pain pulsed in my head as a spider web of cracks spread across it, before it shattered inward and all over the passengers.

The van swerved and then crashed off the road into the trees, but the other two kept coming. I sat back into the car, clutching at my head to try to ease the throbbing pain there. It started to fade after a second, but I didn't think I could do that again. Not even for Daddy.

"I got one of them… but my head's hurting too much. I'm sorry, but I can't do it again." I whimpered out through the pain in my head.

"It's alright sweetie, you've done more than enough. I'm proud of you, no matter what happens. Always remember that." Daddy paused to take a breath, and was about to say more when a loud crack cut him off.

One second he was driving, a worried look on his face. The next he was slumped over the wheel, a clean hole going through the back window, both seats, his head, and the windshield. The dash in front of him and the windshield were covered in a spray of red. After a few seconds, the car veered off the road and crashed into a tree. Surprisingly, the air bags didn't go off.

"DADDY!" I screamed out as I started crying, twisting over and shaking his shoulder as tears dripped down my cheeks. He didn't answer and I screamed again as it hit me that he was dead.

I could smell smoke now, coming from somewhere in front of me, and it made me cough as it pooled in the car. Still coughing I managed to throw open the door and crawl out onto the ground. I felt worse than I ever had before… Daddy was dead. My grief and guilt turned to anger though. This wasn't the same faceless disease that had killed my school, it was a person. A person somewhere behind me that I could make pay.

I stood and looked around, forgetting the pain in my head. I told myself that it wasn't my fault he was dead as my eyes locked on the two vans that had stopped a ways away and were disgorging their soldiers now. It was their fault. And they would pay… with their lives.

The sirens had stopped, but the helicopter was still flying overhead. The noise gave me an idea. I looked up and focused on the hovering helicopter. My head throbbed, but I couldn't move the main body of it no matter how hard I tried. And I couldn't bring myself to try harder to do it… my head hurt too much, and the PSF in it were people. Just because they were evil didn't mean they didn't have families, and that by killing them I wouldn't be just as bad as the man who killed Daddy.

My rage made me shove that thought out of my head, and focus instead on the rotors spinning above it. My head pulsed and throbbed as my vision began to swim and blacken at the edges, but I kept pushing with my mind. After a few seconds, the noise cut out as the rotors just stopped.

The blades had shattered under my mind, and without consciously thinking about it I brought one of them down. It impaled a soldier, going right through his shoulder and down into his chest. His screams were only the first, as shards of the other rotors fell around them and I directed the entire helicopter's fall to hit the vans.

The last thing I saw before I passed out from the pain and effort was a fiery explosion consuming men, vehicles, and the road.

* * *

_I stood in the center of a forested glade, strangely dressed men and women kneeling in a ring around me. A rhythmic chant roared in my ears as a man bound in leather was brought forward and forced onto his knees. _

"_Deus, nós mortais humildes causar-lle un sacrificio. O seu destino é o seu para decider." A richly clothed man stood behind the bound man, his words sounding strange in my ears but sorting themselves out in my head. The bound man was different from the others, his skin a darker color and his hair a shocking red._

"_Mori gentes falsum deum! Ego non missionem meam!" Somehow the man broke free from his bonds, a glittering knife appearing in his hand as he lunged for me. He got barely an inch before I snared him in a net of power and raised him off the ground. He struggled and hissed, but it was useless. _

"_Virtute et scientia tua commendabo. Tuum est munus, sed habeat vitam tuam." I hissed in a sibilant voice that was not my normal one, but many here thought was mine. His knife flew from his hand and buried itself to the hilt in a tree with but a thought._

_Then he was gone._

* * *

My eyes snapped open as I tried to sit up. For a second I wondered where I was, why I was strapped down on a table. Then the horror and grief hit me all over again. Daddy was dead… and I was a monster. I killed those PSF… but at least one must have survived since I wasn't where I had passed out.

My head was still throbbing, but the pain was bearable. The medicine Daddy had given me must have worn off… how long had I been passed out? I just knew my dream had been short… but what had happened in it? It wasn't like me to dream much, or forget them so quickly when I did.

I struggled to move around, then found that I couldn't. They had straps holding my arms and legs still, another going across my waist, and one on my head. At least, that's all I could feel on me. There could have been more. As it was, I couldn't even bend my neck to see anything other than a blindingly bright light and a few white ceiling tiles above me.

My tears started flowing again as it really hit me that Daddy was gone forever, and my small body was wracked with sobs. Instead of trickling down my cheeks, the tears slid down the side of my head and pooled uncomfortably in my ears, but I couldn't stop them.

"So you're finally awake, little girl." A sneering PSF leaned over me. He looked to be around Daddy's age, but his face was cruel.

"Where…" I started to say, but then he slapped me. Hard. My head would have jerked sideways if it wasn't strapped down, and as it was I bit my cheek and tasted the tang of blood in my mouth.

"Quiet!" He shouted at me, even as he started undoing the restraints holding me down. "The first rule here at Thurmond is that you don't talk. Ever. Understood?"

I was about to say yes, but the pain on my cheek made me think better of it. Instead I just nodded, since my head restraint was undone now.

"Smart girl, you're already learning." He undid the last restraint and stepped back a little. "Now get up. You've been unconscious for two days, it's time to get you into camp, Freak."

My head still hurt a lot and I wanted to just stay where I was, but I was afraid of what this horrible man would do to me if I didn't listen. My legs nearly gave out underneath me when I stood, but I kept myself up with sheer willpower and a tight grip on the table. After a second the shaking in my knees stopped and I was confident enough to take a step toward where the man was waiting at the entrance to the curtained stall I was in. Maybe if I tried hard enough I could use my powers to beat him, and try to escape.

"Don't even think about it. Your little telekinesis won't help you. We have over a hundred armed soldiers here, you'd never make it out alive." He seemed to guess what I was thinking. "If it were up to me we'd just kill all you freaks and be done with it. You in particular."

I noticed that I wasn't in my pajamas anymore… but some dull grey uniform. I looked onto my back and saw a big blue x over it… and a string of numbers across the tip of each shoe that they had somehow forced onto my feet. The cruel man led me through a short series of corridors until we stood at the threshold of a closed door, and he waited for me to catch up.

"If you try anything we'll put a bullet in your head before you take a single step." His lips curled up into a sneer. "All the guards here know what you did. Destroyed two military vehicles and a helicopter, damaged another vehicle, and killed eleven men."

And then he opened the door and shoved me out in front of him

"Welcome to Camp Thurmond. Welcome to Hell on Earth." I sprawled on the ground as the PSF cackled at my expense. It wasn't raining, but the ground was a sea of mud, and the rows upon rows of hastily-constructed cabins that I could see were still wet. It wasn't dark yet, but the sun must have been close to setting behind the dense cloud cover.

I was completely coated in mud from the fall, but I doggedly stood up before the man could do anything else to me. Once I was back on my feet he seized my arm and practically dragged me along as I struggled to keep up with his fast pace. It looked like he was taking me to a specific cabin.

"Lucky you, you get out of work for today. Almost lights out, and that means you don't get a shower." I was really starting to hate this man… I was trying as hard as I could to not see into his twisted mind. Even without direct skin-to-skin contact there was still a huge urge to slip into his mind. To trash everything and turn him into a man-baby. The urge scared me even more than what I saw in him.

"Welcome to your home for the rest of your natural life." The PSF yanked open the door to a cabin marked with a blue twelve, and threw me onto the rough wooden flooring inside. Then he slammed the door and left me in the dimly lit cabin.

Twenty bunk-beds were arranged around the walls of the single room, and all but one of them was occupied. All of the people in the beds were teenage girls, of all sizes, races, and appearances. Most were staring fearfully at me, with gaunt faces and dull hollow eyes, or at the door the PSF had thrown me through. The two closest to me got out of their beds and helped me up.

"You poor thing, are you alright?" A tall blonde girl whose eyes weren't dulled with fear and acceptance asked as she helped me up.

"Of course she's not, Astrid, the PSF caught her." The other girl, a shorter brunette that still towered over me replied. Her eyes had the same fire of rebellion as the blonde. They each took one of my arms and helped me walk over to the empty bunk.

"That's kind of obvious Clove. I was asking if they beat her." The blonde, Astrid it seemed, rolled her eyes at the other girl and sat next to me on the yellowed sheet. "You're the first new girl to come to Thurmond in years, that I know of anyway. How did those bastards in the PSF catch you?"

"Mommy saw me throw a picture across the room with my mind when I fell. She called the PSF… but Daddy tried to run off with me." I paused and sniffled a little, but made an effort to appear strong to these girls. "And now he's dead… and I'm a monster. A freak like that soldier out there called me."

"Parents turned you in, huh? Same with me." The brunette, Clove I assumed, said. "But you're not a monster, or a freak like those bastards say. You're no worse than the rest of us Blues."

"But I am." I sobbed out, still not letting my tears flow. I had an instinctive feeling that I could trust these two older girls… and that compelled me to open up my heart to them. To tell them my story. "Daddy died trying to save me… and all because I was too slow. I couldn't push through and stop them."

"It wasn't your fault. You can't go around blaming yourself for what others do, you'll tear yourself up inside. Maybe talking about it will help? You can trust me and Clove."

"But it was my fault!" I protested, my voice rising a bit in volume. "I only stopped one of the vans before stopping because of my headache. If I'd stopped the other two he's still be alive… there wouldn't be a hole in his head, and I wouldn't be here."

"Wait… you stopped an entire van? You must be better with your powers than most of us here."

"Every time I use them my head starts to throb. I threw a gun out of one man's hand… broke their windshield and sent them crashing into a tree. Then the pain was too much and I stopped. And they shot Daddy." The dam inside me that had been holding back my tears burst, and they fell forth in waves down my cheeks.

"You couldn't have stopped them. You did your best, and I'm sure your father would be proud. Now why were you calling yourself a monster?" Astrid asked in a motherly tone.

"Bu... but it wasn't my best. I thought it was… but when he died and I got out of the car I was so mad. I broke a helicopter…" I paused and sobbed. "and impaled a soldier with one of the rotors. I killed eleven people in the explosion when I crashed the helicopter! I'm a monster… a murderer. I'm no better than the men that killed Daddy."

Before either of the two could end the stunned silence between us, the lights flicked off. I just sat there sobbing to myself as they went back to their own bunks without a word. I sat there crying for what felt like hours before I'd cried out all my tears and grief and anger, leaving just fear and hopelessness inside.

Then I curled up in the sheets and sobbed myself into a sleep tortured by horrible dreams.


End file.
